Fear is misplaced attention

I usually don't get sucked in by cutsie one-liners. I can't tolerate much of anything that is meant to be inspirational.

But for some reason, that line has stuck with me.

I get nervous and/or afraid fairly often. Whenever there is a change in my routine, I get anxious.

If I let it, tomorrow can be a huge source of anxiousness for me.

1. I am going to start Shocker Fitness. The workout for crazies that begins at 5:45 in the MORNING. This makes me nervous for only one big reason.

What if I quit?

In 2006, I had finally found my groove with diet and excercise. I was on auto-pilot and feeling fine. I had accomplished my goal of running the 5K for Race for the Cure.

Proof:

(Very poor quality, shot by Allie who was only 10 at the time. I'm the skinny one in shorts running to the right of the center line.)


Race for the Cure 2006 from Chandra Stauffer on Vimeo.

I felt like I had conquered the world that day.

Shortly after, my dad got sick, very sick. I started taking care of him and stopped taking care of me. He died three months later.

2007 was spent being depressed.
2008 was spent being lazy.

Now, I want 2009 to be a repeat of 2006.

It begins with Shocker Fitness.

2. My two-week internship at The Wichita Eagle begins tomorrow. This is a meltdown waiting to happen. It shouldn't be, but it is. I'm trying really hard to focus on what will go right. Everyone will love me. I will totally be able to handle any assignment I'm given. I'm already aquainted with some of the people there. Everything will be FINE.

And besides, even if tomorrow really sucks, won't it be better than my best day as a high school secretary?

Ahh...YES.